


Hold my Flower

by JanaRumpandRCJawnn (JanaRumpandRCJawwn)



Series: Flamingo [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Autistic Ushijima, F/M, Gen, Post-Canon, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 21:58:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6875218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JanaRumpandRCJawwn/pseuds/JanaRumpandRCJawnn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’ve been staring at me the whole day, and I don’t think it was because you thought I looked nice in my dress. So if you have something you wish to say to me, just say it.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold my Flower

**Author's Note:**

> So, about my son Ushijima. I (jana, the sobbing mess over this precious child) must declare I don't have any contact with adult autists, though have had with many children. Therefore, this might not be accurate (which is hard to mesure anyway, seeing as autism is an umbrella term for a plethora of conditions). Proceed with that in mind, if you will

“Do you think our kids will beat Karasuno this year?” Issei asked from the kitchen. 

Makki considered that while she was putting on her flower print black dress. It was a nice dress, and she had made some memories with it. And most important, it made her look fine as hell. 

“I hope so. I don’t want them to lose again, and they are good enough too, I’m sure.” She shouted back. 

She caught Issei’s reflection as he entered the room, with a toast on his mouth and only wearing his pants. Makki smirked looking over her shoulder to her boyfriend, who came over and offered her said toast. They stood there sharing food and not thinking about how they had lost last year, even when Seijou had Oikawa and Iwaizumi, and how even before they had lost to Karasuno they had never beaten Shiratorizawa. She pulled her stupid boyfriend for a hug and nuzzled his neck.

“Don’t be upsetti, have spaghetti.” 

And Matsukawa burst in laughter, hugging her tighter, his whole body shaking with mirth. 

“I shall eat my spaghetti and have no regretti.”

They continued being stupid for a few minutes until Issei poked at her ribs.

“We should finish getting dressed, or we might lose some sets.”

They did finish getting dressed, both in very hipstery fashion. No one could say they didn’t make the cutest and best dressed couple in the history of Seijou. They took the train, as they weren’t living in Miyagi since they got into college, lived actually pretty far away. It was sort of a fresh start, a place where Makki didn’t have to get dirty looks every five steps, where no one knew her and she didn’t have to explain herself at every corner. The seijou group of third years had all scattered themselves all around the country. This was the first time they were actually gonna be together since they had graduated, and damn, she wouldn’t pretend like she wasn’t excited about it. 

\--

When they got to the gymnasium some several hour later, Iwa and Tooru were standing outside drinking soda and talking to each other. They hadn’t changed much, to be honest. Oikawa’s fashion sense was still the most horrible thing ever, and Iwaizumi’s arms were still the hottest thing in the world - tied with Mattsun’s face and Oikawa’s legs, granted. 

“Hey there, losers.” She called, waving and smirking.

Both stared at her for a couple seconds, and she could see a genuine surprise in their eyes followed by happiness. Maybe a bit of awe, if she was asked. They hadn’t seen her since before her hair grew long and she managed to actually wear clothes she loved and started taking her hormones. Not in person, at least.

“Finally. I thought you two weren't coming.” Hajime commented, a bit too ironic. 

“Well, we have a sex life, unlike you two.” Issei teased, kissing her cheek after he spoke. 

Oikawa stuck his tongue out. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and mock punched their shoulders. They walked inside together, all of them telling stories about these months in college, Oikawa babbling his bunch of volleyball anecdotes. It seemed he was actually getting eyed on by the national team - he was happy, but also angry because he didn’t want to set to Ushiwaka. Iwa’s college team had made it to the nationals, which was impressive. Issei and Makki didn’t play volleyball anymore, as she basically couldn’t and both of them had pretty full schedules already. 

It took them no time to find a decent spot to watch, not too close to the Seijou cheer team (which they loved, but damn those kids were loud). From there they could see the other people that had graduated last year - the ex-Karasuno group was in the stands, all looking so respectable. Then obviously, the Shiratorizawa group. 

“Damn, he keeps looking like he is better than everyone.” Oikawa muttered under his breath.

“Relax, Shittykawa. Our kids will make us proud.” She tried to cheer him up, patting his back. 

“They better.” His friend was obviously nervous. “I don’t suppose it was a walk on the park for them.”

“I just hope they learned to control Kyoutani. He can be a fucking great asset.” Hajime commented, crossing his arms over his chest. 

She turned to Issei, who looked fairly calm, but she could see it, that shine in his eyes. He was as nervous as all of them. She wanted to go there and play with their kouhai, but she couldn’t. Now she was stuck watching and she kinda hated it. The teams stepped onto court, Aobajousai was gonna play against Shiratorizawa on the semifinals while Karasuno played with Datekou. She saw her ex-teammates walking in, and no one seemed to have changed much. They were tense to the last bone of their body, and next to her Oikawa tsked, obviously realizing the same thing.

“If they go in the game with this defeated attitude, Shiratorizawa will eat them alive.” Her boyfriend added, and she took his hand. She remembered how scary Shiratorizawa could be, with their cheerleaders and powerhouse fame. All she could do was try to take those boys minds off this, so Makki pushed herself up and shouted to them.

“Hey, Watari!” 

The young libero - and the rest of the team too, but she was focusing on him now - turned his head to face her. 

“I’m wearing _that_ lingerie you gave me, for good luck!” 

The boy literally became a spot of red. Kindaichi blushed too, hiding his face on Kunimi’s shoulder. Iwaizumi joined her, shouting at Kyoutani that he expected to see lots of points. People were looking at them, and they did not care. Watari bowed a bit and shouted back. 

“Thank you Makki-senpai! I’ll honor it!” 

Some of the first years were whispering about them, which only made her roll her eyes. Next to her Tooru shouted that they should respect their senpai’s senpai. His sheer presence made some people give little squeals of excitement. Makki was proud of herself, because the kids seemed incredibly more relaxed right now. When she looked up and around, though, she saw Ushijima staring at her. Not at Tooru, staring at _her_. And not the nice kind of stare, either. She just shrugged to herself, she wouldn’t say she would ever get used to this, but she could let it roll off her shoulders.

Makki had a game to cheer on, and she would be the best cheering person in this whole place. 

\--

Three sets later she was clawing her face off. 

The boys were doing great, like really fucking great, but Shiratorizawa was always a hard opponent. Kyoutani and Yahaba were a great duo, and fuck, Kindaichi had become one hell of a blocker. Kunimi too was so good at catching them when they least expected, it was hard not be proud. Currently they were in a rally, and damn, she couldn’t stop shaking Issei’s arm, so anxious. Next to her Oikawa was chewing his lip so fucking hard, and Iwaizumi was all locked in place. 

They had to get that point. They just had to. 

And they did. Kunimi fucking Kunimi, she wanted to squish him - actually went in first, slamming the ball on the court with such intensity that all the audience stood in shock before just screaming in cheer. The four of them jumped together, joining in on the fun. Now they were at an advantage. Only one point now between them and the finals.

She felt eyes on her, and indeed looked up to find Ushijima still staring at her. Makki stared back for a couple of seconds, before Oikawa started shouting at Kyoutani to just fucking win this game with an ace service. 

“Come on, come on, come on... You can do this. You can do this.” 

Kyoutani did one of those spikes, so fucking powerful it was scary, even more now that it was controlled. Technique and maybe some desperation made it just perfect, too fast even for Shiratorizawa’s libero.

Makki actually felt tears rolling down her eyes as she screamed, smiling so openly her cheeks hurt. For how long had they waited to see Shiratorizawa’s cheer silent? Silenced by them, by their school, by their kouhai. Issei was shouting, actually shouting, and shaking the rail. Somewhere in the back of her mind she could hear Iwaizumi shouting praises at Kyoutani, his voice getting raw. She watched as the team hugged each other, Kindaichi and one of the first year’s actually raising Kyouken to their shoulders. Damn, she wanted to run there and join that fray, but it was not their victory, though it felt like it was anyway. She could swear she saw even coach Irihata cheering too. 

By the time the team came to bow in front of them, she and Hajime had stopped crying, but Tooru was still a mess. The new third and second years stepped closer than the rest, and Yahaba looked directly at them, thanked them for being the best senpai we could have hoped for. 

“Stop that, you guys are the ones that deserve all the praise.” Tooru said and actually bowed to them. “You did what we never could. And _we_ are proud to be your senpai.” 

All the rest of their group bowed too, and when they got up poor Kindaichi was crying his heart out. 

“We'll meet you guys after Oikawa rubs this victory on Ushijima’s face.” Issei added. 

Everyone knew the former captain would not contain himself, that he would just have to rub this on his eternal rival’s face. Yahaba laughed a bit and informed they would be waiting, there was still a while before their final match after all. 

\--

It didn't take them five minutes to find Ushijima Wakatoshi.

Makki had the slight suspicion the man had been waiting for them. He stood along Tendou Satori (she still felt her teeth clenching, because that dude and his guess blocking had made her miserable) and their old setter (Semi?), the group found in a corridor. Tendou glared at a vending machine, but Ushiwaka was looking directly their way. It's not like they were being subtle, but it still felt a bit weird. 

They had decided to do this as a group, because in the end of the day all of them had a bit of a rivalry with the best ace in Miyagi, all of them had tried to beat him together. As soon as Tooru spotted him, the setter started calling.

“Hey, Ushiwaka!” 

“Oikawa. Iwaizumi.” He gave the two of them small nods before turning to her and Issei. “Matsukawa.” There was an obvious and long pause. “Hanamaki.” 

“Well, I’m here to tell you that the _infertile ground_ of Seijou beat your Shiratorizawa fair and square.”

“I’m aware, I watched the game.” 

Tooru rolled his eyes and groaned. Iwaizumi seemed mildly annoyed too, and even she wanted him to look at least a little bit upset. 

“Besides, without me, Shiratorizawa is not as great as they were last year. We shall see if your team may beat mine, Oikawa, or else I believe I still get to say your pride is damaging you.” 

The way Ushijima spoke was very matter of factly, and so annoying. Semi actually poked at his side, giving him a stern look before turning to the ex-Seijou group.

“It was a very impressive victory, you guys must be proud.”

He was obviously upset by seeing his team lose, which was easier to deal with than Ushijima’s apparent indifference. Oikawa proceeded to brag, but again Makki could see that Ushijima wasn’t focused on him, at least not the whole time. More often than not his eyes would divert to her. And well, eventually she got tired of that, so she leaned closer to Issei and whispered.

“Can you hold my flower, babe?”

“Well, I can, but considering your whole dress is a flower I might have to hold you.”

She smiled to him and gave a peck to his lips. She then interrupted whatever Oikawa was babbling about now.

“Ushijima, may we speak, in private?” She didn’t want his friends there covering up for him, she wanted him to be clear with her. 

The man nodded and they stepped away from the group, standing in front of each other around the next corner. She could still see everyone else, but that would suffice. She took a deep breath and started speaking, trying to make her voice match her apparent confidence. 

“You’ve been staring at me the whole day, and I don’t think it was because you thought I looked nice on my dress. So if you have something you wish to say to me, just say it.”

The man blinked a couple of times, staring at her. She knew everything about those looks and people’s reaction to her. Ushijima indeed spoke up, though his tone was borderline confused.

“You’re a man.”

She winced at those words. They felt like a slap to the face every damn time. Makki considered just telling him to fuck off and leaving this place, but something seemed different about the way he said it. Makki was kinda curious actually, so she decided to press.

“I’m not a man.” Her voice did shake from anger a bit anyway. “I’m a woman.”

Ushijima didn’t try to correct her, which was, overall a good sign. He looked down and frowned somewhat, as if concentrating in a difficult equation. It was a bit unnerving, so she just smoothed her dress, looking to the side for a moment. Then, without any warning Ushijima freaking Wakatoshi bowed to her, so low he almost hit her in his haste. 

“I apologize for saying that, Miss Makki. I had no intention of offending you.”

“Now, that’s something I don’t hear every day.”

The man stood back up, looking vaguely less confused now. She supposed he hadn’t met any trans person before her, so she put on the didactic mask and her best retail worker smile.

“If there’s anything that’s still confusing you, I could try to make it clearer, as long as it's not offensive.”

He nodded, and proceeded to ask a couple of almost technical questions - not invasive, just very curious. Makki didn’t quite know how to react to that, but he didn’t make her uncomfortable, so she did her best to be nice. It was good to have someone who was actually interested in hearing her instead of just declaring their opinions very loudly as if they were innovative. Eventually they started discussing volleyball like nothing had happened, then soon enough she felt an arm creeping around her waist and turned to find her boyfriend had decided to join them.

“Hey, Issei.” She smiled and he relaxed.

“Hey, Hana. I hope you don’t mind, but if I had to deal with Tendou and Oikawa arguing a second more I'd have to put my head through a wall instead.

“Satori tends to get pulled into childish arguments.”He turned to Ushijima with a forced smile, but that didn’t seem to bother the other.

“Anyway.” She interrupted, clapping her hands together. “I suppose we have to go speak to the team and congratulate them before their next match.”

“Yes, we will go talk to the Shiratorizawa team as well.”

She offered her hand to Ushijima, still smiling. The man shook it and very politely said he had enjoyed her company very much, then also congratulated them on their relationship. All in a very Ushiwaka, deadpan way. 

They reunited with their groups, and Iwaizumi managed, with a bit of their help, to pry Oikawa away from a salt competition with Tendou. As they four of them went down the corridor, she heard Ushiwaka’s low voice calling up.

“Miss Hanamaki.” 

She turned to face him as he approached with sure steps, being followed by his friends.

“Yes, Ushijima?”

“I would like to invite you for an ice cream and movies perhaps.”

She was a kinda shocked by that, blinking a couple of times. Makki didn’t think the man in front of her could even tell the implications of what he had just done, judging by how unaffected he seemed about it. Semi took him as aside when he reached his friend, and by her side she heard a familiar voice start singing the chorus to ‘Steal my girl’ and Hajime's usual ‘I fucking hate my life.’

\--

Ushijima was really aware of how much he missed when it came to certain social happenings. 

He did try to keep track of everything, but still needed help sometimes. Usually Semi would explain to him when he had doubts - unless it was pop culture, then he should ask Tendou. 

Most times they replied right away, but they hadn’t when it came to Hanamaki, had only said they would explain it later. So now he was standing in front of this person, and it didn’t add up - he knew that Hanamaki was a man, only men could play on the male volleyball teams. Besides, he had seen the other in the last Spring tournament in which they all had played, so why was he so different? Long hair, a dress and piercings, even the way he moved was more feminine. His mother was always adamant he ‘behave like a man’ or else no one would respect him, and this just didn't _fit_.

Hanamaki was quite straight forward as they talked, which he had to admit was very much appreciated. So he spoke his mind, trying not to be too forceful. 

Those already narrow eyes narrowed even more upon his words, and the reply was swift, angry - Ushijima was always very good at getting it when people got angry. 

The answer was a puzzle in itself, though, demanding his attention. Hanamaki was a woman, but she _had_ played with them during High School, which must mean she used to be a man, or maybe she'd just passed as one? Either way, it wasn’t his business, the past was gone and it wasn’t going to be of use right now. Ushijima wasn’t close to Hanamaki, so he obviously wouldn’t have been informed of something like that. It was a personal matter, which probably meant he had been rude. Men always got offended when they were called girls - it was silly, but was apparently very important to everyone, so he kept up - so when a woman was called a man it must be very offensive too. His mother (and Semi) always said he had to be nice to women, to be charming and polite. So he bowed his apology. 

She didn’t laugh at him, didn’t get mad and didn’t just leave. She actually was patient and replied to his silly technical questions (he wanted to know where he could research more about the matter, so he could be informed and not pry into her life, after all he was bound to meet more people like her, and he would hate to be rude). 

Hanamaki was a very different company from everyone else, her teammates. She used a lot of memes, and he was glad Tendou kept him up to date with those. Overall it was a nice conversation. Matsukawa joined them eventually, and by then Ushijima had gathered they were in a relationship, but he was slightly surprised to how much they touched each other - Semi and Tendou almost never touched outside of private spaces. 

When he was walking away, Tendou congratulating him on having apparently made a friend, he remembered something very important. It is very important to ask girls if they wanted to go out with you, his mother had said earlier in the year, so he turned back and invited her for ice cream and a movie - that was an enjoyable activity, he, Tendou and Semi had done it several times, so it was not an unfamiliar territory to cross with Hanamaki and her boyfriend. Tendou did drag him away after her reply, seeming very uncomfortable. 

“I don’t think I did anything inappropriate this time.” Wakatoshi added, looking at his friend.Tendou just smiled at him.

“I’ll explain after we scold Shirabu, Semi is too excited about that.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this  
> Kissus


End file.
